Perfect Lips, Flawless Fingertips

The most erotic thing is the presence of the beloved. A returned on Saturday afternoon. I think it was the smoothest return we’ve had for a long time — possibly ever: no tears or lost tempers; not even any tetch. A kept saying what a good mood everyone was in.

What did I do differently?

• For a start I had more energy, more emotional energy, I was more awake, and I was able to be attentive without fussing. I think putting emotional energy into this blog is giving me back the energy I need to intervene more accurately in my life.
• I took every opportunity to be near her, to hold her hand, stroke her thigh, kiss her anywhere. We have a competitively affectionate 8 year old, so I had to take care.
• I didn’t let minor outbreaks of tension get me down. I had the image of this blog in my mind, and that helped me stick to my project — in much the same way as the ‘Perfect Lips’ slogan did for my anti-biting project (see The Name).

I’ve kept a pen & paper diary for years, but that’s never had this effect — it’s never fed back and influenced my behaviour. I think the semi-public nature of this blog (it’s not fully public because I’m writing anonymously) is making the difference. It seems to be opening a kind of channel of communication between my ‘public’ and ‘private’ sides (see Action).

Tiny trivial detail showing signs of life, movement: in bed we lay reading, side-by-side. Her foot accidentally touched my leg — and stayed: we lay reading, touching.

Another showing how easy it is to go too fast: each night after lights out, as we snugged down to sleep, I stroked her bottom. Each night she jumped and complained, “Ai!! Don’t tickle my bottom!!”

Being near her — all weekend, not just in bed — turned me on like it hasn’t for years.